Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
