I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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