I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
