we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
