Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
