this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
