saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
