I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
