I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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