my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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