We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
