I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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