mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
