Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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