Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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