i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
