Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
