hotel room ftw
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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