Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
