I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I can feel your judgement through the phone
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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