Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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