He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
