So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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