By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
