The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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