I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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