Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
