So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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