You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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