I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize