My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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