Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
