i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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