at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i think i just lost a toe
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
