Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
