My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize