I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
