Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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