So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
