also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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