I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
