Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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