Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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