I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize