forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
