Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Everyone says I win the strip club
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
