Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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