Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You don't make any sense
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