She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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