A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
