thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
