You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
