I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize