I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
