Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
