I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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