i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
wow bdsm is so cute
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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