yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
