obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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