If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
