Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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