I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
