Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
