just come out here and I will go home with you...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
