once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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