you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
