I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
