ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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