wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize