i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
