Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
