I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
