I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize