My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
