so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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