So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
