I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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