I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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