yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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