My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
