I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
