fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
